putter-on

Toxic propaganda

His premise is about respect. His conclusion is that he can control my life. I am 24. I have always sought my brother’s advice, friendship and approval. Without his acceptance of my existence I was disturbed for some time. Upon receiving my bachelor’s we became friends. I thought he valued my personhood and found a way to reciprocate the love and respect I have for him. Isn’t the hero supposed to be the good guy? The situation is not ideal, I never intended to be interested in a friend of his. The friend approached it wisely and asked him for approval as a sign of respect. This did not go over well he basically threatened, via my cousin, to disown me. No justification was made. Not to protect me or his friend. Not to save face around his friends bc he doesn’t want details. He lived an ocean away. We wanted his approval but as I thought about it more I went from sad to anxious and panicked. The more I thought, the more I felt- now I’m pissed. Should I accept advice from a stranger? What if that advice doesn’t ‘feel right’? What if is incomprehensible? My thoughts are that we accept the advice that fits well with current beliefs. Occasionally we receive advice that doesn’t fit and we must reject it as faulty or replace some belief with a new one. For one to be rational there is a consistency standard to be met. We are not religious, righteous or sane every day except Tuesday the 12. As creatures of habit we have routines, normal conduct and, as should be expected, certain ways to think which are unique to each person, but there’s a pattern. I would reject this stranger’s advice and likely judge someone that’d take easy words over actual thought. The advice was poor- an emotional premise to support a conclusion that affects the lives of two others… My brother is no different. I had deep respect for him so I have generally given his words more contemplation. I had blindly accepted all his advice. Until now. Now I see that I need to think, because it’s not guaranteed someone else is going to do it. Don’t date him. Why? Because I said so. Show me some respect. You’re my sister not a person. I want to control something that I don’t understand.

This is garbage. All reasons I can list as justification are terrible. I am not a bad person, he didn’t mention his friend will hurt me. This is “not about you man, she’s my sister”. It’s about control and he’s going against his own policy by bringing emotion and ignorance into it. Loyalty and fear are the wrong means. I have decent judgment. As a student and advocator of philosophy I like to think. I probably don’t do it enough. This experience had shown me that I need to think more because what choices have I allowed to be made for me sans thought? It’s not that I don’t believe in things and that appeals to emotion do not work on me sometimes… But in matters of the important parts, I need to wake the fuck up. Wisdom, pride and achievement are not found in one’s refusal to think. I am a thinking thing. I will not betray this again. Though the situation is grossly blown out of proportion, and I’m sad to learn that my hero may have been wrongly titled, I have learned something powerful. It’s not about his friend now. It’s a battle of unjustified emotion and faulty premises against my entire person. I am nothing more than my thoughts. If I become nothing more than someone else’s thoughts that should make me a vessel of destruction, a machine lacking programming coherence. I am nothing more than my thoughts.